What to do between the delicate and chaotic period of life transitions?
Whether it’s graduating, changing careers, entering a new life stage like parenthood or retirement, or going through a loss or breakup — we all inevitably face periods of profound life transition that disorient us. These in-between phases can feel delicate yet chaotic, full of uncertainty and insecurity as everything familiar to us is shaken and also these very situations are ripe with new possibilities. How we move through them can profoundly impact our growth, well-being, and what unfolds next in our journey. Learning to cruise through life’s turbulent transitions with wisdom is a super-skill worth working at and mastering.
From a psychological perspective, life transitions represent a form of crisis that disrupts our established patterns, relationships, roles and routines.
This loss of the familiar can trigger fear, anxiety, and a sense of chaos as our old structures break down before new ones can take shape and there is a time gap to be taken into account. Yet this very disruption and sense of being betwixt and between also contains the seeds of reinvention and new growth. If we can manage to ford the transition skillfully, we emerge having shed outmoded parts of ourselves and opened to new perspectives, possibilities, and ways of being.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” Alan Watts
So how can we cross this bridge course with wisdom, grace and resilience when all we see is fog and underneath us life’s currents feel turbulent, choppy and uncertain?
This is where mindfulness practices, common sense strategies, and insights from psychology can act as guides. We make intentional choices.
Psychologist Carl Jung put it very well, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
Mindfulness: Creating Space to Respond
When everything feels up in the air, our instinct is often to fight against it through denial, forcing resolution too quickly, or retreating into old habits and defence mechanisms. Practices like meditation, conscious breathing, and bringing awareness to the present moment can help counter our tendencies toward reactivity.
By intentionally pausing and creating a little space around the inner and outer chaos, we give ourselves the ability to respond to transition more skillfully rather than just reflexively reacting or grasping for certainty that may not be available yet. As we settle into the unknown, we naturally gain a clarity that we wouldn’t have access to from a more panicked, reactive state. The attitude of inner detachment is the mark of emotional maturity in the individual. It allows one to embrace the world.
Research shows that mindfulness can reduce anxiety, depression and burnout associated with major life changes. It helps us cultivate self-awareness and the ability to consciously pivot as our situation shifts. Mindful moments create a buffer between stimulus and response where you can make values-based choices.
Common Sense: Structure, Support, Self-Care
While mindfulness keeps us grounded amidst swirling change, common sense strategies can also ease overwhelm and keep things moving positively. Our ancestors knew how to find solutions through strong-knit communities. Setting up supportive routines, relationships and constructive habits provides ballast and forward momentum.
Creating stable anchors like consistent sleep/wake times, mealtimes, exercise, and time for restorative hobbies rebuilds structure and steadiness when other areas feel scattered. Relying on mentors, guides, counsellors or communities going through similar experiences provides camaraderie and wisdom. Breaking bigger goals down into manageable micro-steps keeps you gently progressing rather than stalling out or getting paralyzed.
From my own experience, I can say that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by listening to others, but are gained by looking inwards, during moments of desperation, struggle and challenge, when we allow ourselves to embrace solitude and surrender in acceptance of what temporarily is.
Through the turmoil, ensure that you focus intently on replenishing yourself — eating well, hydrating, resting, spending time in nature, and whatever restores your particular mind/body/spirit. Self-care is self-love and vital for sustaining energy and resilience through demanding transitions. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.
Psychology: Stories, Strengths, Future-Selves
The transition also provides ripe opportunities to consciously create and author new personal narratives and future visions aligned with your deepest values and growth.
Psychologists have found that the stories we tell about our lives, especially around times of transition, powerfully shape our experiences, sense of identity, and what unfolds going forward. Cultivating hopeful, redemptive stories rooted in personal strengths can provide guidance and motivation through the chaos.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor Frankl
Practices like writing future autobiographies from the vantage point of who you wish to become, identifying key strengths that will sustain you, and focusing on how you’ve effectively navigated challenges before, can all light the path ahead. Our stories remind us of our resilience and highest strivings even when we feel adrift.
Additionally, maintaining or creating small rituals and routines that connect you to your ideal future self — that writer, parent, artist, leader, partner, or colleague you’re moving towards — can fortify motivation and purpose as roles shift.
Through it all, know that getting destabilized is not a bug, but a powerful feature of the system. Life transition periods, while uncomfortable, catalyze our evolution and growth if we can stay grounded and open-minded. Have patience and compassion for the process. Shedding an old skin precedes the preparation and emergence of a new one aligned with who we are becoming.
With mindfulness to remain present and non-reactive, common sense to create structure and restoration, and psychology to script positive personal narratives and embody future ideal selves — we can get through even the most delicate and chaotic life transitions as ceremonies of reinvention and profound transformation.
As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.