What are the traits often associated with narcissism?

In today’s society, there seems to be an increase of a ‘me-centric’ culture and individuals seem to be prioritising the fulfilment of their own desires and wants with an unhealthy disregard for the well-being of others.

While most of these persons are simply exhibiting behaviours that seem to be on the rise in our social context, it is important to become aware of what underlies narcissism and discern those who could be actual narcissists with little or no empathy. If you encounter individuals displaying these traits, it is important to approach the situation with mindfulness and understanding.

Narcissistic traits include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration and being the centre of attention, a lack of empathy, a belief in their own superiority, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

These traits can manifest in various ways and sooner or later will impact both personal and professional relationships.

Chronic narcissism refers to a long-term pattern of behaviour characterized by a strong and pervasive sense of self-importance, believing that they are always right, a constant need for attention, adulation and admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others or apparently a select few. Individuals with chronic narcissism often have an inflated sense of their own abilities and achievements, and they manipulate or exploit others to meet their own needs.

This trait will significantly influence their relationships and interactions with others, especially the people close to them as well as their own overall well-being in the long run. Narcissists often steer parasitic relationships of co-dependency with persons who are extremely empathetic.

While it is possible to work with individuals who exhibit narcissistic tendencies, to promote positive change and personal growth, it is well-nigh impossible to work with chronic narcissists who have a complete lack of empathy and a blatant disregard for others. They struggle to acknowledge or validate the feelings and perspectives of others and are adept at manipulating the most experienced psychologists!

They indulge in ‘Gaslighting’ which is a manipulative tactic where one person seeks to distort another person’s perception of reality. This is done by denying events, facts, or experiences, making the victim doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity.

Gaslighting is an emotionally abusive behaviour that can cause the victim to question their reality and undermine their self-confidence, with dire consequences detrimental to the well-being of the victim.

Recognizing when it might be time to distance yourself from a narcissistic individual can be challenging, but from my experience here are some key indicators that could suggest it’s time to consider creating the necessary healthy boundaries and even disengaging totally from such a relationship:

• Consistent Manipulation: The person consistently manipulates and exploits you for their own benefit without regard for your well-being. Ask yourself if you are putting in considerably more into the relationship than you are getting from it.
• Lack of Empathy: They consistently show a lack of empathy or disregard for your feelings, needs, or experiences. They refuse to validate your feelings, often downplaying them while ensuring that you are acutely aware of theirs.
• Toxic Dynamics: The relationship is often marked by drama, emotional turmoil, and negative patterns. This impacts your mental and emotional well-being and causes you to lose cognition of who you are.
• Emotional Exhaustion: You find yourself constantly feeling emotionally drained, anxious, fearful or depressed due to the interactions with this person. You dread having to be around them.
• Isolation from Support: The person tries to subtly isolate you from friends, family, or support systems, making you feel that only they have your best interests at heart. It becomes difficult for you to maintain a healthy network of relationships. Once they become your sole social support, it is easy for them to manipulate you.
• Unhealthy Competition: The relationship involves constant competition or comparisons, wherein your accomplishments are belittled or overshadowed. They emerge as the winner. When you protest, they will use a ‘carrot and stick’ approach, manipulating you ably.
• Lack of Personal Growth: Being around the person prevents your personal growth and self-development due to their ever-present need for control or superiority. They will even give you time-consuming ‘projects’ to undertake, so you are occupied in doing their bidding.
• Refusal to Change: The individual consistently refuses to acknowledge their behaviour or work on improving themselves, despite your attempts to communicate your concerns. In fact, communication is avoided at all costs because they always have something extremely important to do.

In the next article, I discuss ways of dealing with narcissists.

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth aligned with the idea of creating boundaries and making life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to freedom and independence from emotionally abusive and draining relationships, allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.