What are Dependent and codependent relationships?
Have you ever found your happiness tied to someone’s moods, whims and fancies?
When a certain someone is around you, and they pay attention to you, you feel good. On the other hand, if they ignore you or say something less than nice, your mood plummets and your world goes dark.
These my friends aren’t the symptoms of love, you may be entrenched in a relationship that is not good for your well-being or sanity!
Dependent and codependent relationships refer to interpersonal dynamics where one person relies heavily on another for emotional support, validation, or a sense of identity.
In a dependent relationship, one person may lean on their partner or friend for their emotional well-being and decision-making. On the other hand, codependency often involves an unhealthy level of emotional reliance, where one person’s self-esteem becomes intertwined with the other person’s approval or actions. This can deteriorate into a very controlling and manipulative relationship with a victim and perpetrator, where the self-esteem of one can be destroyed by the behaviour of the other who gets their source of energy and self-esteem by controlling their partner.
Codependency is a behavioural pattern where one person excessively relies on another for emotional and psychological needs, often to the detriment of their own well-being. This creates an unbalanced and unhealthy dynamic that hinders personal growth and development and eats away at a person’s self-esteem.
In codependent relationships, one person prioritizes the needs and desires of their partner over their own. This causes a lack of boundaries, an erosion of self-esteem, and a sense of losing one’s identity outside of the relationship.
As a Life Design Consultant and Transformational Coach, I encounter various relationship dynamics in my practice. Sometimes, people are not even aware of their role inside such dynamics, because it is difficult to be objective when you’re involved! I help my clients recognize these patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Exploring these patterns with clients helps them gain profound insights into their behaviour. Then they can begin to work towards healthier and more balanced relationships.
As a skilled helper, I use techniques from my areas of expertise, such as NLP, CBT, Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, Mindfulness and Counselling to help clients begin their journey of emotional freedom, personal independence and a more fulfilling life lived with purpose in the pursuit of their dreams!
I often utilise a phrase from The Bible “Do not throw pearls before swine.”
This phrase advises against sharing valuable or meaningful things with those who are unlikely to appreciate or understand their worth. Just as pearls are valuable and exquisite, the time, effort, and emotional investment we put into a relationship is immensely precious and meaningful.
Relationships are nurtured with our vital Life Force. We are social animals and nothing beats the importance of nurturing healthy relationships which are our mainstay and support in life.
Applying this analogy, it’s essential to direct your energy and attention towards relationships that have the potential to flourish and grow with mutual love, respect, care and understanding. Just as pearls are appreciated by those who recognize their beauty, your contribution and support in a relationship should be valued by those who are receptive to it.
If you find yourself in a relationship where your efforts are consistently met with indifference, disrespect, or a lack of appreciation, it is time to reevaluate the dynamics at play, before losing yourself.
This doesn’t necessarily mean cutting ties, but rather taking time out, distancing yourself and considering whether the relationship can truly be a source of mutual growth and support. Often, redirecting your energy towards relationships where your wisdom and care are truly valued can lead to more meaningful connections and positive transformations. This is particularly true when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
Addressing codependency involves promoting self-awareness and self-care. As a practitioner, I encourage clients to practice mindfulness, meditation, and gratitude and develop a stronger sense of self. We work on creating healthy boundaries and a more balanced approach to relationships. By fostering these qualities, we can work towards building healthier connections based on mutual support and respect, rather than dependency.
In all the skilled helping disciplines there are valuable tools to address dependency and codependency, allowing people to foster personal growth and autonomy while delving into their self-identity and developing a healthy self-concept.
Cultivating mindfulness, gratitude, and an optimistic outlook also plays a significant role in guiding us towards healthier relationship dynamics.
Take some time to reflect upon the relationships you have in life and reevaluate those that may be in need of an overhaul in order to allow you to live your best life yet.
Remember, there is one key relationship that drives all our relationships and it is with ourselves. Fall in love with yourself. Only then can you truly fall in love with someone else and your happiness will not be tied to them. Rather, you will both be in a truly loving and empowering relationship to bring out the best in each other.
As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.