Taming Your Thoughts: Achieving Inner Peace Through Self-Awareness

Thoughts, like emotions, often seem to arise spontaneously without conscious control. In an instant, our minds can spiral into destructive thought patterns that hijack our peace of mind. All of a sudden, it seems that we have no control over our thinking and are led by it to find ourselves in a state of chaos and enmeshed in compulsive behaviours which may prove to be detrimental to our well-being.

Thinking is a good thing, overthinking not as much!

Thoughts naturally pop into our heads without much effort on our part. While thoughts seemingly are automatic and triggered by life events, they are separate from feelings.

Have you ever wondered where they come from? Thoughts actually spring forth from our beliefs, the attitudes we hold, the reasoning abilities we have honed, and the stories we tell ourselves which create meanings for us. Some of these can be inaccurate or require revision as we grow from childhood into adulthood.

When something happens, our emotions are activated, often sparking an inner story as our mind tries to interpret the event. Our rational thinking aims to make sense of experiences by forming judgments, opinions, and beliefs — even if these are misguided and may lead to conflict.

The amazing creativity of the human mind allows us to solve problems and adapt. However, assumptions and simplifications meant to help us cope can harm relationships and well-being if based on falsehoods we insist on aggressively defending.

We Can’t Stop Our Thoughts

People often believe that they need to stop their thoughts. This is a common misinterpretation of meditation as well. The mind is a thinking mechanism, it is in the very nature of the mind to think.

Rather than fruitlessly trying to stop thoughts completely, slowing down allows us space for self-awareness and helps us to manage them effectively. By tuning into the present moment, we can identify unhelpful thought patterns and shift them, rather than get caught up in the stories they generate or exaggerate these stories to feed our need for drama and distraction, eventually wearing ourselves out. This tendency can be inverted to serve us rather than undermine us.

Mindfulness creates space to determine which thoughts to accept and which to reject, modifying tendencies not serving us. Awareness of the self, others, and surroundings breeds insight and inner calm.

“Observe thoughts without believing them or reacting emotionally. This loosens their grip, empowering clarity and truth over limitations of perception.”

Self-wareness is having a clear perception of our unique identity, including our strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs and motivations. It allows us to understand other people, how they perceive us, our attitude and our responses to them in the moment.

Our ‘conscious thinking’ part of our mind is wired to reason, form beliefs and attitudes that are representative of how it is that we interpret our most important life’s experiences. The reasoning human mind is ingénues. It is why we each can be infinitely creative.

Take a moment to become mindful of the device that you are reading this article on right now … another human being has created this. No other mammal or creature on this planet has adapted so well due to their ability to work through complex problems and establish the most appropriate solutions to resolve them.

However, the rational part of our mind is like a double-edged sword, especially once our emotions have been triggered. Our mind can jump to the most ridiculous, absurd and incredible assumptions that are not only false but also wholly detrimental to the health of our relationships and our general well-being.

We often try to simplify (or dumb down) our everyday experiences, so that we can understand them and explain them away if necessary. We do this by creating judgments, misguided opinions, and incorrect beliefs — many of which, some people will even declare an ‘all-out war’ to defend.

Many of the assumptions we jump to and judgments we make might satisfy our minds and emotional reactions in the short-term, however, they seldom serve us in our relationships and rarely do they reflect the actual truth of any given situation.

Some people find that out-of-control thoughts plague their minds following a traumatic event or personal failure. Other people become tired and exhausted with the pace and rate at which their minds think. However, stopping thought in its entirety is not possible.

If I were to ask you to close your eyes for a moment and think about pink dancing elephants, you would most likely be able to do this. And even if you consider this a ridiculous idea, there is still a high chance that the thought of pink dancing elephants is still rattling around inside your mind. Why? Because the seed or the idea has been planted. It is now up to you whether you focus on this seed or not.

So, the trick to becoming efficient in practising self-awareness is not about stopping our thoughts entirely, but instead, becoming more aware of our thoughts and managing them with higher efficiency.

Self-awareness is about increasing your awareness of what is happening in the present moment and making a choice in regard to where or what you focus your attention upon.

Self-awareness does not stop thought, but it does determine what types of thinking we accept, and what kinds of thought we reject.

The Art of Present Moment Awareness

Through developing present-moment awareness, we can begin to increase our awareness of the thought patterns that dominate our minds, and what stories or meanings we are creating as a result of them.

It is only through doing this that we can begin to master our minds and influence our emotions in far more empowering ways. By observing our thoughts and just being present with them, we empower ourselves to appreciate thought for what it is. Just thought!

The lovely Louise Hay would observe her thoughts and let them go with a soft, “Thank You for sharing…” until they quietened down.

If we will just consciously utilise our ability to step back and cease believing every mindless thought that pops into our heads, we will become free from those thoughts and the consequential emotions we experience as a result of focusing on them.

As we do this, we create space in our minds to establish a greater appreciation for truth, rather than being held captive by the thoughts we have and the limitations of our filters and perceptions. When we relax enough in our minds, it is only then that we can gain the clarity and insights that we seek.

Here’s an exercise to evaluate and manage your thought patterns

Ask yourself the following questions:

Q1) Where are these thoughts coming from?

Q2) Where will these thoughts lead me if I continue to focus on them?

Q3) Where do I wish to go i.e. what state of mind do I wish to inhabit?

Q4) Will these thoughts get me where I want to go?

Q5) Will these thoughts build me up or tear me down?

Q6) Will I happily share these thoughts with others?

Q6) If I were to go back in time, can I identify where exactly these thoughts originate from?

Q7) Do these thoughts make me feel guilty, sad, resentful or small?

Q8) Is it possible to choose to think differently?

Q9) What would be a more empowering thought?

Take time to dissect your thinking patterns by considering the answers to these questions on a regular basis.

As you mentally recap the goings-on of each day, consider the quality of the main thoughts that occupy your mind and commit them if necessary to the courtroom of truth. If you have thoughts that are invalid, just don’t validate them!

This is the gift of mindfulness, to step out of the unconscious, mindless automatic brain functioning that most of us are programmed to embrace as children and increase our awareness of ourselves, other people and the immediate environments in which we live. This is what gives us the inner peace that we desire.

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.