Resilience: A state of core strength
I’ve been reflecting on this word these past few days like I often do. My natural state of resilience has suffered a setback and I need to bounce back.
How easily do you bounce back from life’s setbacks?
Life’s storms blow around us, and despite our best efforts or preparation, life is unpredictable, which also makes it quite interesting. When it throws us down, we tend to forget how interesting it is!
We’re here seeking to explore ourselves, seeking knowledge, perhaps seeking something else, seeking to rise above what holds us down. I’ve noticed that over time, as I was buffeted by the storms of life, facing hurt, loss, discomfort, betrayal, manipulation, politics, transfers, changes, economic ups and downs and all the “stuff” we go through as we grow, I built up a very good resilience.
I have been noticing it particularly of late, I have amplified it more thanks to the consistent application of whatever I have learned, and yet I realise that I need to work on it some more.
-How do you personally define resilience?
-How have you become more resilient in facing the ups and downs of life?
Resilience: A state of core strength
For me, resilience is actually an art. It is also a skill that can only be created by experiencing our life at its fullest and not allowing the bad moments to crush us but instead, to help us to become someone bigger and stronger. It is rising up stronger after falling, it is refusing to give up on oneself.
The fact that we are all here, surpassing our challenges, shows me that we are capable of much more, regardless of the situation we are in right now.
Resilience is something I once struggled to understand — why is it that some folks seem to have it naturally, and others are blown over by the slightest breeze? What made me so sensitive to life itself, whereas I could see many seemingly unbaffled by whatever they were going through?
I came to the conclusion, that it is about how you manage your thoughts, how much faith you have in an overall “good intention”, if you believe in hope and trust in your ability to bounce back after a fall. It was an inherent belief and knowing that I can handle whatever comes my way.
This sounds like a lot, but it all ties in together under the headline “ having self-confidence”.
I define resilience simply as how able one is to bounce back after life knocks you around a bit. It’s the choices we make in our reactions to situations that inevitably happen. We can learn ‘about’ resilience but we can’t build it without actually being forced to use it…like a muscle.
Awareness and slowing down have helped me personally by stretching my understanding of who I am and how I am engaging in this world, offering different perspectives and giving me new ways to deepen my own self-awareness which as far as I can tell is the key to so many things including resilience.
Resilience… bouncing back… self-confidence…authenticity…integrity…
For me, resilience is about knowing myself and my values and staying true to them regardless of what life throws at me. The people around me and the things that happen to me do not have any influence at all over who I am.
In my experience, life brings both “bad” things and “good” things or we may even say that all things are actually neutral. We define “Bad” as being things I’d rather not have to deal with and “good” being things I’d like more of, and more often. It’s the “bad” things that have taught me the most valuable lessons, and the “good” things that I’ve found most enjoyable to experience.
When something “bad” happens to me, there’s a message in it somewhere. I’m either on the wrong track, or I’m hanging out with the wrong people, or I was getting complacent, or there’s something else I need to take notice of. So if I am wise, I learn the lesson that life has brought me, and then I move on.
Something “good” happens to me and I just want to sustain it, to wallow in it like a hippo in a mud-hole, and just like the hippo I’m then stuck there, making no progress. So if I’m wise I accept with gratitude the good things that life’s brought me and I enjoy them immensely but I do not allow them to distract me from my life’s purpose.
When “bad” things happen to other people I can help by showing that I care and that I’m here to give my support. Who knows, maybe I can help them to learn the lesson that life’s brought them.
When “good” things happen to other people I can help them to be grateful and appreciative, by celebrating with them. Sharing someone else’s joy is one of life’s true rewards.
In either case, I can be of real service by helping folks not to lose sight of the bigger picture. So from that point of view, resilience is the result of equanimity, self-knowledge, self-confidence, empathy and compassion.
As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design counsellor, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Reach out if you require help and guidance.