Relationships
We humans are known as social animals and relationships with people, creatures and our surroundings are not only key to our survival but also an essential part of life.
There are those who abandon the world to go live the life of a hermit, somewhere up in the high and inaccessible mountains or the depths of the jungles, but even they need to have and maintain a symbiotic relationship with the environment that supports and nurtures them and the creatures that live within, as long as they are a part of the physical world.
For those of us who are still part and parcel of a so-called ‘normal’ lifestyle, it is important to realise that a lot of our well-being depends upon having really good, nay great relationships with others and the interesting thing is that it all starts with us.
Our relationship with ourself forms the foundational basis of all our relationships with the rest of creation.
Therefore, we need to give time and attention and put in the effort required to nurture our relationships as well as learn to discern which relationships are nourishing us and identify those which are becoming a drain on our energy and resources.
Just like a tree, it is essential to let go of parasites that smother us, just as much as it is essential to gather nourishment in order to grow well, tall and strong. Otherwise, all the nourishment in the world will be siphoned off by the parasitic creature, feeding off us!
We need to intentionally create the time and the space to cultivate quality relationships which feed us as we support them.
How many times have you invested your precious time and energy into a person, a close friend or relative, over and over again, only to realise that it is all to no avail, that all your words, suggestions, support, time and energy have not brought about any changes at all in their outlook or behaviour, that all you have accomplished is massive wastage of yourself while they cling to you like creepers, slowly and steadily smothering the vital life force out of you, draining you, bleeding you dry?
There’s a huge difference between people who are ready to grow and those that simply cling to whatever means of support they can find, without wanting to stand up on their own two feet or take responsibility for their lives and actions. They constantly say that they want to improve their lives but it is sheer lip-service, carried forward almost by the force of habit and inertia!
On the other hand, there are people who are committed to growing and improving themselves, who are already actively engaged in the ongoing process of self-improvement, growth and change. They don’t sit and wait for things to fall into their lap, they go and actively seek, and those who seek are bound to find.
There are those who talk about their plans and ideas, about how they wish things could be better, about waiting for the right time, circumstances, government, whatever, about how they will one day, go ahead and do, whereas, there are those who are already busy doing, no matter the circumstances, policies, times, without a lot of talking or noise. They are busy sifting through whatever comes their way, actively looking for solutions and ideas to move forward, always forward. These are the ones to align with.
A lot of people will claim to want a better life but are not willing to do what it takes to actually get it. Until idealistic aspirations become affirmed decisions backed up with commitment and consistency, with massive and continued action, there will be no change and it will all remain wishful thinking. This is the norm with the masses.
As we progress through life, it is essential to find, cultivate, nurture, support and have around us those who are on a similar path and actually working towards their own dreams and aspirations and actively involved in creating change. These are the ones that we need to keep close to us because, whether we are aware of it or not, the company we keep, influences us massively. The mindset, the thought processes, the words and actions that surround us, are always impacting us. We need to start discerning and identifying the right kind of people to have around us. This also means that we need to let go of those who are not supportive of our growth, and our goals. It means protecting our time and energy, setting and defending our boundaries, getting rid of a misplaced sense of duty and loyalty without merit and any kind of guilt or regret based upon our conditioning or emotional blackmail which we are bound to be subjected to by those who have everything to lose by our tightening the reins of our life.
We cannot be effective in bringing about change in the world if we cannot first bring it about in ourselves, apply it to our own lives and grow from it.
What we have been through and come through, is what makes us capable of handling more, of guiding others effectively to finding their solutions, because we have had a taste of what it is like.