“Making Life a Gentler Business — Ideas, Tips, and Techniques”

Tina Saxena
7 min readJan 3, 2024

Quotes and advice for applying mindfulness and wisdom to soften life!

Life can often feel like a harsh and unforgiving business. The demands of work, relationships, family, and other obligations pile up, leaving us overwhelmed and stressed out. Let this go on too long and it takes a toll on your well-being as well as that of those around you. However, with some awareness and intentional effort, we can soften life’s sharp edges and make the journey more gentle. You see, life can be hard sometimes, but it does not have to be! Cultivating qualities like mindfulness, self-compassion, and simplicity can go a long way in easing our burdens.

Mindfulness teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed.”

Bringing conscious awareness to our actions, thoughts, and feelings can reveal simpler ways to move forward. When we distractedly auto-pilot through our routines, we miss opportunities to streamline and find pockets of calm, which are the very foundations of living well.

Tuning in to the present moment illuminates the direction our efforts are taking and we can avoid wasted time and energy.

Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast teaches, “Gratefulness turns what we have into enough.”

Mindful awareness helps us appreciate life as it unfolds right now. While we are at it, why not stop for a few moments and take an ‘awareness break’? Tune into how you are feeling right now, breathe in deeply and simply observe the space you are in. What is happening around you? What are your senses taking in? What is happening inside you?

Starting small is key. Don’t expect to suddenly have endless patience or complete equanimity! Just bring patient curiosity to ordinary activities. Notice textures, sounds, colours, and sensations as you go about your day.

I read somewhere that washing dishes can be a truly mindful activity as you observe the soapsuds and the way water flows over your hands and the dishes, washing off the muck and leaving them clean — ever since, I have leaned into the practice of washing dishes mindfully, actually enjoying the entire sequence! Coming from someone who wasn’t very enthusiastic about this chore, that is quite a huge shift!

Any activity done with awareness and intention is a mindful activity. Master Thich Nhat Hanh emphasises that, “Every moment is a chance for awakening.”

Pause before reacting to a stressful email or news that can easily throw you off balance. Grant yourself permission not to multi-task all the time. Each bite of breakfast, a stroke of the keyboard, or conversation with a neighbour is an opening for mindfulness. Shopping for groceries, passing through the cash counters or walking to the car.

‘Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.’ Thich Nhat Hanh

In this journey, cultivating self-compassion is also paramount. Sometimes life’s business is just plain hard and we suffer because we are caught up in it. Berating ourselves for imperfections only compounds the pain. If chronically high standards exhaust you, notice that about yourself with kind acceptance because nobody holds a whip to us driving us like slaves.

Pulitzer Prize winner author Anne Lamott warns, “Unfairness is going to hit you right smack in the face about a bazillion times in your life…”

Whining about how unfair life is will keep us feeling like victims throughout. Taking an attitude of, ‘Well, what am I going to do about it?’ is certainly more empowering and yes, we can do a lot about it, starting with how we respond. Gratitude can shift us from despair into abundance and ward off the looming dark shadows of anxiety.

The late Zen Buddhist master Cheri Huber taught, “When we stop judging and let things be as they are, everything can relax and be at ease.”

We can hold struggles with the same empathy we offer dear friends. Even small acts like speaking encouragingly to yourself while looking in the mirror can soften harsh inner critics. Mirror-work can do wonders if we are willing to face ourselves.

Simplifying and slowing down are equally restorative. Every obligation avoided lifts a weight off our shoulders. We can harness the power of ‘no’ to create headspace and breathing room. Consider which activities drain rather than vitalize you. Tend just a few heartfelt passions instead of spreading yourself thin. Get clarity on your core values and start prioritising yourself.

Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki points out, “If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything.”

Daily life offers infinitely more beauty, wonder, and joy than we often recognize when we are busily checking off task lists. Allowing every moment to show us miracles and taking time to soak them in makes life infinitely richer. I can guarantee that the glimpse of an azure sky out of a window can touch and free our souls way more than crossing off paperwork. The trick lies in actually being present, noticing it and being open to appreciating it. Following up with a moment of gratitude adds a deeper nuance to fully living it.

The path ahead involves trusting our intuition over public opinion or social pressure. And to do this, we have to hone our intuition with practice and diligence, we have to dedicate time to it, and we have to allow for moments of appreciation and gratitude.

What does your heart tell you about how to spend the next hour? The next Saturday? The coming year?

‘Time enjoyed is not time wasted!’ How often do we go on elaborate self-designed and planned guilt trips for having truly enjoyed a few moments instead of following up with productive drudgery? If you were completely honest with yourself, what would you rather do with your life? How would you spend your time and life force?

Writer Elizabeth Gilbert reminds us, “You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.”

Your soul knows which ingredients belong in your unique recipe for living gently and purposefully. Making space for your spirit to whisper guidance without self-judgment smooths out life’s business significantly.

Of course, bringing more gentleness to our existence cannot eliminate all troubles; such is the inherent nature of being human, our ocean will be subject to waves, however, even amid difficulties, we can infuse everyday matters with meaning and tranquillity.

As the Dalai Lama says, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Hardships are part and parcel of everyone’s story. Living gently involves considering both joy and sorrow as teachers on the path. We always retain power over crafting how we relate to predicaments. Life is a matter of perspective.

‘Two looked out through the prison bars, one saw mud and the other stars!’

So in practical terms, how might we translate these principles into daily choices?

The present moment always offers rich soil for planting seeds of wisdom. It is also the only moment we actually have.

Master Thich Naht Han teaches, “The past is gone and the future is not yet here. Let us not drown ourselves in remorse or daydreams, but instead walk mindfully on the ground of the present moment.”

Simply begin tuning into your breathing several times a day through some long inhales and exhales. I like to call these moments ‘Awareness Breaks.’ Feel physical sensations, let go of judgments, allow all thoughts to simply float by like the clouds trailing across the sky, and gently offer words of encouragement to yourself. Then, carry that mindful presence into simple acts — eating a raisin very slowly, taking the time to listen intently to a child’s story, perhaps, allowing the warmth of the shower to relax your muscles for a few soothing minutes, or putting the phone away to truly connect with someone. Soon, all these become second nature.

Train yourself to catch limiting self-criticisms and replace them with alternative perspectives until self-compassion becomes automatic.

Set goals focused on your own growth rather than meeting the projected expectations of others.

Let go of activities which are no longer serving your spirit, thus making space to nurture talents that light you up.

Savour and fully engage with just one moment of beauty every day letting it nourish your spirit.

Soon, pausing to fully taste lovely experiences brings about a richness in your life and makes it all the more easier to counterbalance the harder ones, if and when they do show up. Expressing compassion towards yourself and others alleviates the sharpness of everyday struggles, a bit like a stone path softened by years of tread. A simplified schedule with room to breathe prevents you from drowning in the turbulence of life.

In essence, infuse gentleness into your perspective and choices. Wherever you are… start there!

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. Connect with me if you are seeking to go forward on your journey.

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Tina Saxena

On the joyful, slow and leisurely track, exploring life in its myriads of facets and nuances, dipping into the latest human psychology and ancient scriptures!