Identity — Who are you?
Identity is defined as ’who we are’. Our identity makes us individuals and each of us is unique just like a snowflake! Identity is also amongst the strongest driving factors of behaviours. It is also closely linked to the values we hold as important.
What we often mistakenly exchange for and as our identity is basically words that define a few of our characteristics. It is partially and seemingly made up of labels that our brain uses to process things faster. However, no word, or group of words, can ever encapsulate the wholeness of who we are.
Our true identity is not composed of labels. It is not defined by our association with certain groups, neither is it the sum of our beliefs, culture, tradition, religious or spiritual thought or anything else. It is not a pattern of behaviour or a way of being either.
Who we are is way more than words and labels.
Most people have a problem understanding this because we tend to associate labels with who we are. Labels help our brain process information faster as it tends to chunk bits and pieces of information together. Moreover, we have been conditioned to define ourselves with what we have been told while growing up by our parents, teachers and other people in authority or people whose opinions matter to us, for example, our peers. Even as adults, we are growing and changing and still exploring ourselves.
The problem is when we exchange the label for who we are as a whole and forget that the said label is a very very partial definition of a tiny part of us.
The problem is a belief that we are who we are and we cannot change.
Another aspect to consider is that how we show up at any given time can be very situational.
From this point of view, our description of ourselves is going to be fluid and dynamic, since we are fluid and dynamic creatures. We can also be totally different people in different contexts, show up in a different manner and it is all part of who we are. Forgetting the whole and concentrating on a narrow area leads to tunnel vision and rigid and inflexible forms of thinking, which are huge obstacles in the path of our growth.
Let us take an example. It is possible that you are lazy regarding a certain aspect of your life which does not excite and inspire you. Someone may call you lazy a few times and before you know it, you have accepted the label and start thinking of yourself as a lazy person. Then this laziness begins to spread onto all aspects of your life until it reaches a stage where you so fully identify with being lazy that you are unwilling to invest yourself even into things that are important for you. Interestingly, we tend to somehow give more importance to the negative aspects of ourselves and our lives than the positive ones. Perhaps, it is a consequence of our conditioning.
We need to be aware at all times that we cannot be summed up in a few words.
Nobody can define or choose our identity for us. Our parents, colleagues, partners, friends or Society cannot choose our identity. We choose who we are at any given time and this specific who we are is always a very fluid and dynamic definition.
We are also more than who we choose to think of ourselves as!
- What labels have you used until today to define yourself?
- What words are you still using to limit yourself?