How to take (a modicum of) control over our thoughts?
Wise people say that we are masters of our fates because we have thinking brains and we also have the inherent power to control our brains.
Some or rather most people might say that this is easier said than done. However, we have to remember that everything seems difficult until it becomes easy, and to reach that stage we have to put in time and effort.
On average, scientists affirm that humans have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. This number varies greatly for each individual and is influenced by various factors such as emotional state, external stimuli, individual cognitive processes, and more. The exact number of thoughts cannot be definitively measured, yet this range gives us an idea of the vast amount of mental activity that takes place in our minds on a daily basis. We certainly cannot control each and every thought, but we can stop giving ourselves headaches from overthinking and find ways of steering the direction of our thoughts to live with less stress, worry, anxiety, and more happiness, joy, calm, and bliss.
A lot of our thoughts are on automatic pilot and uncontrollable thoughts can become venomous and toxic for us.
In the distraction of daily life, we don’t even realize some of them. Some thoughts are running on repeat and have made deep grooves in our memory, keeping us ‘stuck’. What we don’t realize is that we’re not stuck; we are only running the same thought patterns over and over again, giving us the impression of being stuck and stagnant!
So, is it possible to really control our thoughts or at least take charge of the direction in which they go?
I have been there and done that and I have pulled myself out of the rut! If I can, you can.
It can seem hard to start with, as with anything new we tackle but there are definitely a few steps you can follow. These have worked wonders for me over the years!
Slow down and Practice the Pause: I cannot emphasize enough the importance of slowing down. It helps us focus on the present. Engaging with the present moment does help shift our attention away from ruminating on unproductive or negative thoughts. Mindfulness is a game-changer for all of us. Pausing before reacting allows you to respond calmly!
Practice Mindfulness Meditation: Regular mindfulness meditation helps create a space between you and your thoughts, allowing you to observe them without immediate judgment or reaction. This practice definitely contributes to a calmer and more focused mind.
Keep a journal: Start writing a journal and jot down your thoughts every day. This helps you begin to observe where your mind is pulling you and allows you to gently steer it where you want it to go. It is an effective tool for self-awareness. It allows us to identify recurring patterns in our thoughts and feelings. By reflecting on these patterns, we can work on replacing unhelpful thoughts with more constructive ones. Seek to improve every day, one step at a time!
Cultivate Gratitude: Gratitude practices can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Incorporate moments of gratitude into your daily routine. This could also be through the practice of journaling, sharing appreciation with others, or simply taking a moment to acknowledge the positive aspects of your life. I started running a Gratitude Group on What'sApp (see how technology is superbly useful?) a few years ago and it has made us all benefit by loads and barrels, so to speak!
Build relationships and nurture them: Thoughts assail us when we are alone. The more we spend time with others, the easier it is to setter ourselves away from the automatic circle of negativity. Talk to people, it provides a fresh perspective. Listen carefully and learn more ways of thinking and being. Open yourself up to making new friends. Meaningful interactions can bring joy and shared experiences, contributing to a more positive mindset. Also, intentionally choose the people you interact with. It is said that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with! Don’t know enough positive, optimistic, smart, refreshing, joyful people? Find your mentors online, on a you-tube channel, on social media, in a book… Today, we are not bound by our village boundaries!
Do something differently: This will make your brain strain to work differently as it is obliged to leave the autopilot for a while. Organize your home differently. Read a different genre of books, listen to fresh new music, and try out something you’d never think of listening to. Even a different language will do! Try using your non-dominant hand to do what you usually do. This tiny step can shift a lot! The list to help churn your brain is endless…
Start creating new habits which empower and support you: Cultivating new habits can create a positive shift in our daily routine. Learn a new skill. Dive into the hobby you’ve always wanted to. Give yourself permission to live the life you have desired. Nurture plants and creatures and watch them grow. Engage in activities like exercise, learning, or creative pursuits to help channel your energy into something meaningful, reducing the space for negative thoughts to take hold.
Visualize Success and Positivity: Visualizing is a truly powerful tool and visualizing positive outcomes helps set clear intentions and create a mental framework that supports your goals and aspirations. I’m working on mine!
Set Boundaries with People and Technology: We’re constantly bombarded with information and notifications. Setting boundaries on all your engagements is a necessity to prevent information overload. Become intentional about the company you keep and the type of content that enters your mind. This has been one of my biggest lessons in life and a significant game-changer!
Engage in Creative Expression: Creative outlets like art, writing, or music are the expression of your soul and serve as a cathartic release for your thoughts and emotions, for whatever you are going through. Expressing yourself creatively brings deep contentment, satisfaction and joy and allows you to channel your energy into something productive and meaningful.
Practice Self-Compassion: Self-acceptance and self-compassion are key. All our relationships follow in the wake of the one that we have with ourselves. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend or someone else. Accept where you are without judgement. Acknowledge that it is okay to have negative thoughts occasionally, and keep in mind that you have the power to choose how you respond to them.
Thoughts are like clouds that flit across a clear sky: Allow them to float across without impacting your state of being until you learn to intentionally cultivate those which serve you. One of my favourite practices is to observe the sky and watch the clouds floating by. I watch the sky remain the same canvas even as it changes with each moment, day and season! It helps me remain grounded in who I am.
Seek Professional Support: Despite your knowledge and skills, there might be times when seeking professional help is necessary and extremely beneficial. If persistent negative thoughts are significantly impacting your well-being, connecting with a counselor or therapist can provide tailored strategies to address them. Your well-being is the best investment you can ever make!
A combination of these strategies makes for a pretty comprehensive toolkit for nurturing a more positive, optimistic, and healthier mindset and taking a modicum of control over your thoughts.
See what works for you and have patience with yourself as you go along. Believe me, it is well worth the effort!