Grief and those who pass on by…

You grow through your experiences and the more you have to face challenges and obstacles, the more you will grow if you are willing to do so. You develop resilience, the beautiful capacity to bounce back and you learn to find balance and peace, no matter what the circumstances.

Life continues to throw curve balls and you learn how to dodge, catch and even play a pretty decent game, sometimes amused as you watch detached.

However, some come totally unexpected and hit hard below the belt and knock the air out of you. Despite your best preparations, no matter how balanced you are, some get through to you hard and fast, hurting keenly and playing havoc with your equanimity, rocking your world and pulling the carpet away from beneath your feet, leaving you down, flat, squarely beaten.

When it comes to loss, especially the final loss, it takes time to assimilate and process your emotions, the shock, disbelief, knowing it is final and the slow acceptance and then the stages of grief. Sometimes, these trigger memories and grief from situations from long ago causing you to drown in the deluge of associated painful memories and experiences. Time may have passed, you think you may have learned to take things in your stride and yet, the triggers of loss remain buried deep underneath.

There is still more work to be done on yourself. Nothing can ever truly prepare us for final goodbyes!

You gasp for breath and seek to remain afloat, even when you’re pulled down under, again and again, and you seek to cope, using whatever you have in front of you.

You deal with yourself and those around you, all processing their own emotions and coping with their own personal triggers. You know well how things work, and yet, experiencing the helplessness, and the feeling of impotence despite your preparations and expertise is another story.

Numbness, frustration, anger, anxiety, fear and more rear their head once again, ready to swallow you. You release stress and use all the safety valves at your disposal. You seek to focus on the good, the wholesome, the humour, and the moments of goodness in your memories and slowly you resurface. The pain remains somewhere in the background, numbed, but you know that you will rise.

You will eventually right yourself and life will go on, not as before but different.

Life goes on, it seeks to live and you will slowly rebuild and live it better, so you can honour those who have passed on by and touched your life with their presence. Their souls gallop free of the constraints of the body and bless you from wherever they are…