Becoming the Role Model You Needed in Your Youth
I have long and interesting conversations with a lot of young people of all ages and at all levels of instruction and from different walks of life. We usually end with ‘I’m so happy to have known you; I can’t talk to a lot of adults in this manner!’ or ‘You’re so cool, I wish my parents were as cool!’ or ‘Thank you for helping me out, I have more clarity now.’
I’m not writing this to show you all how great I am (which is true, by the way!), I wish to bring up the fact that while growing up we all need points of reference and role models, and we need someone with life experience to listen to us and guide us a little bit while we try to figure things out, hormones and all! Sometimes, I wish I had someone like myself to guide me, to listen to me and share their insights with me!
This is especially important today when many children are left to fend for themselves or in the company of their peers or their cellphones while their parents are busy earning a living or in the pursuit of success and there are no grandparents or aunts and uncles to look after them.
Children learn from interaction and mimicking the behaviour of adults and immature peers aren’t exactly the best role models!
In life, each of us is an individual and plays a unique role. For some, it is a calling to be the person they wish they had while growing up — a point of reference for guidance and inspiration. This journey isn’t just about self-improvement; it is a profound transformation that can impact not only your life but the lives of others as well.
As a Life Design Consultant and Transformational Coach, I understand the power of this transformation, and do whatever I can, wherever I am to influence others in a positive manner, especially our future generations.
Awareness and self-reflection are the cornerstones of your transformation. Understanding who you are, your strengths, weaknesses, and your values and how you live and embody them actively makes you who you are.
Let us think of it this way, picture your younger self in need of guidance. Bring to mind some experiences and situations where you could have benefitted from the presence of someone who had more experience, more maturity and emotional balance.
What qualities and values would you have appreciated in a mentor or role model?
Now, apply that vision to your current self. What can you do to embody those qualities and values and be that mature person?
Get crystal clear on your intentions for life. Intentions are like roadmaps that show you the way to your destination and in a manner they guide your actions and behaviours. This goes beyond defining your goals, and into how you plan to show yourself, who you wish to show up as!
An example would be, a kind and considerate person, compassionate and loving, who doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone and doesn’t waste too much time in feelings and states of disempowerment, shame, guilt, regret and negativity, who is resilient and resourceful, curious and fun-loving, helpful and loves to guide others towards more fulfilment in life… Thus, you can make up your own statement of what your most effective identity could be and how you would express it!
Once again, think about the person you wish you had in your youth. What kind of support, guidance, and inspiration did you need? Make a list of these qualities and attributes, and set the intention to develop and embody them.
Become in character, personality and action that person!
Becoming the role model you needed in your youth means committing to continuous self-development. Most people have a tendency to stop growing and learning once they finish school or university. They believe that self-help is for the weak, the sad, the depressed and the disheartened. They don’t need any help as they have a great career and great things going for them! However, becoming a forever student creates a great and expanding arsenal of life skills and tools that can significantly aid in your personal transformation and go on to become effective for the people who gravitate around you.
Never underestimate the impact of your presence. You have the power to inspire and influence others!
Consider who your younger self needed around them. They needed someone who was mature and balanced and was also constantly growing, learning, and evolving. Commit to lifelong learning and personal growth. Read, listen, take courses, seek guidance, therapy or coaching when needed, and keep improving yourself.
Another powerful tool that can enhance your transformation is gratitude. Be thankful for what you have, but also for who you are and for the journey you are on. Appreciation for whatever life brings and a deep sense of gratitude, are qualities that will serve you well!
Challenges and obstacles are opportunities for growth. When you shift your attitude, when you allow yourself to grow and expand, when you begin to appreciate every step of your journey, your attitude radiates to those around you.
Another massive stepping stone is tuning into the incredible benefits of meditation and mindfulness. These practices help you stay grounded and focused on your transformation. Regular meditation and mindfulness exercises help you become more self-aware and in tune with your intentions. Besides, these also help you manage stress and maintain a positive mindset.
Positivity and optimism are qualities that are infectious. Our world is often perceived as dark and depressing and hopeless by so many who focus on what is wrong with it, on the wars, the depravity and suppression of the poor and the weak. However, that is only one side of the story which has multiple facets.
There is good in the world! Let us focus on it and strive to contribute by our words, thoughts and actions.
To become the person you wished you had in your youth, surround yourself with positive influences and encourage others to do so as well. Practice positive self-talk, and consciously choose optimism in the face of challenges. Your positivity will be a beacon of hope for those who need it and inspire many!
Leading by example should be your mantra. Leaders go first and finish last. Leaders serve, they do not boss around and indulge in power plays and ego battles! Your actions speak louder than words, and your life becomes a testament to your transformation. Authenticity and integrity are your best allies. You need to be true to yourself and set healthy boundaries to protect your energy and maintain your authenticity. Saying no when necessary and establishing boundaries that protect your mental and emotional health allows you to consistently offer your best self to others.
Be vocal in sharing your wisdom. Many people have grown through the suffering, the pains and anguishes of their life. A lot of them have become disillusioned with the world or shy away thinking that their experience or their voice isn’t important enough to be shared and heard! When you are on your path, or you have transformed into the person you needed while growing up, it is time to share your wisdom.
Offer your guidance and support to those who seek it. Share your experiences, knowledge, and insights with others, especially those who may be going through the challenges you once faced. Your willingness to help can make a significant impact on someone’s life. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way by trial and error and sometimes bitter and painful life experiences, but you can smoothen the path for them in many ways and save them the anguish!
As I stated before, there is a dire need for us adults to show as mature, responsible and balanced persons. Once you have the tools and the mindset to undertake this inspiring quest, it is your duty and responsibility to become the role model that your younger self longed for — a source of guidance, support, and inspiration for those who need it.
As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth and make life choices that prioritize their mental and emotional health. This leads to personal freedom and independence allowing the person to blossom and manifest the life they deserve. If you’re looking to expand your horizons and/or overcome issues, connect with me.