10 effective ways to deal with a Narcissist

Narcissistic traits include an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration and being the centre of attention, a lack of empathy, a belief in their own superiority, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain. These traits can manifest in various ways and sooner or later will impact both personal and professional relationships. Such relationships can destroy you.

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to navigate such interactions while maintaining your well-being and sanity. Further on, it might even be time to distance yourself totally from a narcissistic individual!

Here are ten approaches from my own experience that you might find helpful:

• Maintain Self-Awareness: Be mindful of your own feelings and reactions, especially when interacting with a narcissist. This self-awareness can help you respond more effectively and avoid getting entangled in their manipulation and control tactics.
• Stay Calm: Narcissists will try to provoke emotional reactions in order to control and manipulate you using fear, guilt, resentment, and/or whatever works. Learn to stay composed and avoid getting caught up in their attempts to upset you. Become an observer of the situation rather than an active participant.
• Avoid Arguments: Narcissists often thrive on conflict. Instead of engaging in heated arguments, choose your battles wisely and focus on maintaining your own peace of mind. Distance yourself if required.
• Set Boundaries: This has been one of my biggest lessons in life. Establish clear boundaries to protect your emotional and mental space. Define what behaviours are acceptable and communicate these boundaries calmly and assertively. If this is not respected, it is time to create physical space with the individual, giving yourself the possibility of protecting yourself until you learn to deal with the situation.
• Limit Sharing: Be prudent and cautious about revealing personal information or vulnerabilities. Narcissists will use such information against you or to gain control.
• Stay Grounded in Reality: Gaslighting is common with narcissists. Trust your own perceptions and memories, and don’t allow them to distort your reality. Seek help if necessary to validate your point of view before you lose your sanity.
• Practice Empathy and Self-Compassion: While empathy is important in all our relationships, prioritize self-empathy. Recognize your worth and well-being, and don’t allow a narcissist to diminish your self-esteem. They will do everything to break you so that it is easier to control you.
• Use the “Grey Rock” Technique: Keep your interactions neutral and unemotional, like a grey rock. This minimizes their attempts to manipulate your emotions. It takes a bit of practice, but once you are aware and become detached, this is really very simple and effective.
• Seek Support: Confide in friends, family, a counsellor or a therapist who can provide perspective and guidance. Having a support system is crucial when dealing with a narcissist, especially in cases where they have succeeded in distorting your perspective of reality and undermining your self-esteem.
• Consider Complete Disengagement: In some cases, complete no contact might be the healthiest option. If narcissistic behaviour is consistently detrimental to your well-being, it is essential and wise to distance yourself, no matter what your relationship is. Cut your losses and move on!

Relationships with narcissists are extremely challenging relationships that undermine your identity as a person, your sense of self and self-worth. The importance of support and maintaining your own sense of self-worth and well-being cannot be stressed enough.

As a mindfulness practitioner and life-design coach, I help clients focus on well-being and personal growth, creating boundaries and making life choices that give them personal freedom and independence from emotionally abusive and draining relationships. Get in touch if you require assistance.